By Dymond Alexis
Even though becoming a mother was scary, the scariest part was not being able to find some of my qualities I had prior to being pregnant….even prior to my relationship.
The aftermath of pregnancy is the weirdest time because, one year ago you were your own person and now a small person is depending on you to survive; Isn’t that something? My son is one month and everyday I’m learning different ways to accomplish things in one day. From talking to friends that are mothers to realizing things after the moment, I am learning that yes it’s hard but, it can be done.
During and before my pregnancy I was always on the go and constantly moving, which is something I have tried to adjust to and struggling with it so much. I realized that some things aren’t important anymore though and the most important things, God will help me make time for. Having faith has been my saving grace and will continue you to be a saving grace throughout my son’s and I life.
Since my pregnancy ended, I’ve had struggles finding time to accommodate to myself and focus on me for just at least an hour which is the first mistake I’ve made. One piece of advice to moms is to definitely find YOU TIME and have great family/friends you can count on just in case your child’s father isn’t dependable. Moms, you time is always needed! Of course, my hobbies changed so I’m trying to find things that interest me so I can start becoming the person I was before but, better!
Even though I’m still learning here’s some advice for soon-to-be and new moms:
1. Find time for yourself when your baby is sleeping.
This is something that I learned quickly! When your baby is sleeping, use that time to literally do everything that you need to do. Write down a list of tasks you need to get done in the morning (best time would be around 3 to 4 am if you’re waking up to change their diaper) and cross them off throughout the day when you accomplish them. Completing tasks will not only make you feel productive but, it’ll make you feel better as a new mom. Trust me sis, it’s hard to focus on you so find time to do important things only! If you need to take a shower and you’re by yourself, put your baby in their car seat and bring them in the bathroom with you! My baby senses when I leave and he’ll be sound asleep but, notices quickly when I’m not in the room! Taking a shower for me is difficult when I’m by myself. A great friend of mine shared this advice with me.
2. Have great family and friends that you can count on for help
Nothing is wrong with asking for help, trust me! I normally hated asking for help because, I am so independent but, help is needed with a baby. Moms, you can’t do everything by yourself and when you’re feeling frustrated with constant crying or just being by yourself – call a family or friend for help. Don’t distance yourself away because, asking for help will become even more difficult. This is my first week back to work and I’m finishing up my senior year in college. Finding someone to keep my newborn was easy once I asked my family and friends. They were so willing to help because, they believe in me and want me to finish school. Even though I wasn’t sure of their response, I am thankful for being able to have them!
3. Distance yourself from negativity
Depression is real sis after having your baby and you won’t be aware of it either! Distance yourself from the negativity because, it’ll fuel your depression even more and harm the relationship you’re forming with your baby. If the people around you are constantly putting you down, making you feel less than and isn’t motivating you? Cut them off immediately because, you need people around you that want the best for you. You’re not the only person anymore and you have a new addition that only depends on you. Your baby is looking up to you to be their superhero and being depressed with hinder you from the connection you’re building with your baby. Cut the negativity out of your life and watch how things will flourish for you!
Being a mother is a blessing, don’t think of it any other way! You were chosen to be the mom of your wonderful baby and your baby was made specifically for you. Keep praying for guidance and things will get better for you!