By Darya Ruiz
Relationships are super tricky, but they all come with lessons. Let’s just get straight to it – cheating in a relationship is not the best route to go. If you are the cheater, question for you is why? The answer for the people that have been cheated on, well there really isn’t much of an answer, otherwise known as many endless apologizes that are not worth the breathe listening to.
Why should you listen to some dumb apology knowing that it’s too late to turn back now. We all know the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater” and I’m starting to believe that statement is true.
I know that we all want and need answers to a lot of “why” questions. At times it might help closure happen but it may also cause a lot more pain. A question you want to ask yourself is, are the answers really worth that much to go through more pain and put you through more heartbreak.
I know it’s hard to endure. From going to bed with your mind racing to sleepless nights that take forever to catch up on – it sucks and it hurts.
If you are in a relationship where the two of you have been together for a long time and the significant other cheats, you have two options. You can either leave the relationship that you two have worked hard for or you can stay in the relationship and continue developing trust issues.
Ladies and gentlemen. A toxic relationship is not the way to go. You want to keep your life healthy as well as get away from all the negativity. What will happen if you stay in that toxic relationship if the trust that is not there? No matter how long you have been together or how much you love one another. I’m not saying leave the significant other because they cheated one time but, if you go back into that relationship knowing your partner cheated, there will be lots of problems facing that issue. The first problem is trust. That might be the deal breaker.
Trust and loyalty is the main key to the relationship. If you can’t trust your partner, how well is the relationship going to work? There are going to be days where your partner is out with friends and you don’t know what the hell they are doing. You try not to overthink but the anxiety and stress kicks in. You don’t want to be that crazy partner that texts and calls a hundred times to make sure they are doing what they said they were going to do. Then when they don’t respond back in hours but you see them posting on their social media and it makes you angry.
What I am trying to say is, a toxic relationship is what will cause a lot of pain in the future. There really is no complete answer to the question “Why did you cheat?”
Now the last question you have to ask yourself is, whenever you are ready to get back into that road of relationship are you going to trust that person? It might be hard to think that person is a trustworthy person. Though you have to think of it as a fresh start.
My story of being a victim of being in a relationship and cheated on will give you a personal insight on cheating.
I have been cheated on twice. The one that really got me, was when i was in a relationship with a guy for six months. I ended the relationship due to his lack of interest in the relationship and how secretive he became. For example he didn’t post anything about him being in a relationship for the entire six months – super weird.
The entire time he was very sketchy about his phone, never letting me in.
Then another case where my bestfriend found him on tinder and he messaged her and he didn’t think I would find out. Fast forwarding to after i broke things off with him. I come to figure out he cheated on me. Then one of his best friends confirmed it. Though it wasn’t a one time thing. It was the ENTIRE time i was with him. I loved him. I would go to bed crying my eyes until they got puffy. But then i realized something. For someone that didn’t respect me and didn’t give a damn about the relationship, the fact he said he loved me, I hated him. Oh but it only gets better from there. The girl he is currently with now, is the one he cheated on me with.
What my mistake was that everyone warned me about him. “He has quite the reputation” though I blocked everyone out and wanted to give it a shot. There were many red flags but, I still went for it.
My point here is, being cheated on is not fun. It’s not fair. It is a cruel game. To the people that have been cheated on, yes it hurts, but from what I’ve learned is that you as a human have heart. The minute you get heart broken yes it may shatter, but it only gets stronger when you open your eyes and realize that you are strong. Get up on your two feet. You dont need that “special someone” because if they really cared about you they would of never done it in the first place. Think about that.
You keep that head up. You will move on